I have found the Lord to be so faithful to bring various challenges or trials into my life at different times, to draw me closer to Him and seek to conform me more into His image. This has been happening lately ... and my deep longing is to experience HIM in a deeper way in the midst of it. Of course, in my flesh, I would just long for these hardships to be taken away, because sometimes it feels like more than I can bear ... and because my flesh naturally craves comfort and security.

I am glad the Lord is more concerned with my character than my comfort.

I'm kind of tired. But it's Friday.

I look forward to the weekend of resting, church on Sunday, fellowshipping with friends from the ministry on Sunday afternoon, and working on some of my projects. I got some good progress made today (Praise God!) and am excited to see (by faith) how they come together over the weekend. :o)

Just a few minutes ago, a bunch of us were cleaning the building. It was so much fun laughing, talking and fellowshipping with everyone as we cleaned. I thoroughly enjoyed it. :-D

Well, okay, everyone, have a blessed weekend!

Hi everyone. :)Things here go well. Challenges, but often the most growth comes through those. Projects galore, but I like projects! And I know the Lord will go before me, ultimately, and enable me to get them all done. It's a good thing I enjoy writing. :o)

Tomorrow at work is our internship graduation. I look forward to that! I think they're even showing slides of all the interns, highlights from this past year. Then afterwards we're having a big barbeque celebration. FUN!

I just need to remember my big bag of Ruffles chips and dip. :oD

All in all, it's been a really good day. It's gone by pretty quickly, but in a good way! Now I'm looking forward to going home to rest for a bit before going to Stonebriar Mall to exchange a sweater ... and eat at Chick-fila with one of my July coupons. :-) Good times.

I feel so rested from the weekend, too, and I feel people must have really been praying for me.

Life is good.

I seem to be doing quite a bit better. The extra rest over the weekend has definitely helped. And today being at church and the fellowship dinner afterwards was nice.

I still can't believe Jean, Sarah and Deb will be leaving us soon. You all will be missed.

I hope to rest quite a bit more tonight so I'll feel ready for the week ahead.

Lunch with Caty was nice, and just what I needed. Now I'm heading home just a little bit early to rest. That will be nice. Tonight I'm meeting up with some other gals from the ministry for a pool party and fellowship. Don't know how late I'll last, but the fellowship will be nice. :-) I'm also getting to meet up with friends tomorrow night. Also hoping to get lots of rest this weekend and spend some good time with the Lord. How glad I am to know that He is in control. And that none of this caught Him by surprise.

I am still tired after taking a two hour nap yesterday, going to bed at 10:30 and sleeping in this morning. And I never know when I may just burst into tears with no warning. Guess it's all a normal part of the grieving process. ;-) And ... GOD is still there, even if I can't always "feel" His presence. He still loves me.

I came into the office a little later this morning, and I may leave a little early in the day, too. We'll see. I'm going to lunch with a good friend from work, Caty. I'm really looking forward to that. It will be nice to get away for just a bit and have some good food and fellowship. :-)

I feel like my emotions have been catching up to me after a tiring week, so I'm going home to rest for the rest of the day. I'll be okay, and deep down I still have peace and know the Lord can be trusted. I'm just tired and feeling a little overwhelmed ... and may need another good cry.

Last night my friend Michele gave me some beautiful pink roses from the garden we share, and she also treated me to supper at Quiznos! This week has been full of little reminders that Jesus cares.

This afternoon was kind of emotionally hard for me. I cried a little. It was mainly hard because I had wanted to physically "be there" for my mom at the funeral, but with travel logistics of me coming such a distance, my dad voiced a strong preference that I not travel down. And I knew that by respecting his leadership in that, I was honoring my mom as well, and doing what was best ultimately. (even if it was hard) And a talk with my mom just now confirmed that.

We had such a good talk, and I was able to encourage her. And it's obvious that the Lord has really been encouraging her as well, even in the midst of this difficult time, and that she has been feeling much hope in her heart. I am so grateful for that. It is truly an answer to my prayers, and a relief to me. I'm so glad. Please, please do pray for my family tomorrow morning. Visitation is at 11:30 and the funeral is at 12:30.

And I thank the Lord for truly how wonderfully He has sustained each of us thus far.

It's amazing the little things God blesses us with. Throughout this time He has been giving me such wonderful, indescribable peace. That's a big thing, and it truly defies all human logic in a time like this. I really thank Him for this awesome, inexplainable peace.

But last night, something else special happened. You could call it a little thing. But I really believe God chose to bless me with it, to remind me that He cared.

Yesterday, by the time I answered phone calls and updated people who were praying, I didn't leave the office until about 9. Heading out, I was somewhat tired and a little hungry (hadn't really thought about it) and thought, well, I suppose I could get something to eat.

I had the rest of a gift card I'd purchased during a bonus thing at Chili's. So I headed there, to order their carribean chicken salad to go. As I walked in, I thought how nice it would be if they offered me a COKE while I waited. Not like they had to, I just remembered they had before at a different Chili's, and I thought of how it would be like a special touch from the Lord last night.

Well, the lady who took my order didn't. I thought with a sigh, oh well, I guess I should have gone to the other Chili's that did before. ;o)Well, a few minutes later, this manager guy walks by with a smile and then asks me from the counter if I'd like a beverage while I wait. I could hardly believe it. So I got my complimentary COKE. It's not even the free Coke that really matters ... it's the principle behind it, that I truly felt it was the Lord's special provision for me at that moment. A tangible reminder that He is with me and He cares.

I so much wanted to tell the guy how what he just did was an answer to prayer. :o)

[Update: It's looking very possible I will be driving out tomorrow to be there for the funeral. Please pray I will remember that the Lord will be with me every bit as much then as He is right now at this moment. Thanks, all, for your prayers. They are part of His appointed means to help sustain me during this time. God is so faithful and so good. Always.]

I just found out my grandma passed away. Again, the sense of peace the Lord is giving me -- and how He prepared me for this moment -- is almost unreal. I am so grateful. I know it is entirely possible she received Christ, even in those final moments. God is able, and there is nothing HE can't do.

I'd like to take this moment just to thank all of y'all who have been praying for her so faithfully. You are loved.

[Since she just passed away within the last hour, we know nothing yet about funeral arrangements. You can keep that in prayer as well ... and for supernatural comfort for my parents, especially for my mom.]

I want to ask you all to please, please pray for my grandmother. Her biggest need has been for salvation; we have been praying for her for so many years. Last night as I left a Sunday night prayer service at my church, I had a message from my mom asking me to please have people pray for my grandmother. She wasn't doing well, she said, and had been taken to the hospital.

I called her and she told me that she and my dad were headed up there right then, adding, "It doesn't sound good." I was on my way to hang out with some friends from church at their apartment. When we all arrived, I asked them to pray and then apologized and said I really should go and pray for my grandmother.

The Lord was laying it on my heart to earnestly pray for her. As I prayed for her, the Lord gave me incredible peace that has continued throughout the day today, and I truly thank Him for that. I have been at rest in His sovereign care.

The most current news we have at this point is that as of last night, she was on a ventilator and the doctors said my parents had better get up there fast to make some decisions. [May not sound good humanly speaking, but God is bigger, and there's nothing He can't do!] Neither my sister nor I have heard from my parents since they left at 9:00 last night to go to the hospital where my grandmother lives, a three-hour drive.

It seems like if she were already gone, we would have heard from them by now. It truly gives reason to hope that she is still alive and that maybe God has put it on their hearts to stay by her side, praying for one more opportunity to share the Gospel with her, now that she could realize how close she could be to eternity.

Please pray.

I just got back from hanging out with Tia, a good friend from work. We caught the last part of "RV" at the dollar theater, ate at Wendy's, and had a really good time of sharing some of what the Lord is teaching us.

Psalm 127:1 talks about how they who labor to build a house labor in vain if the Lord is not in it. The Lord has really been putting this verse on my heart in regards to different things.

Tonight I'm actually getting to meet up again with some of the Sunday school group from my old church. That will be so nice, especially since I don't get to see them that often. Don't know who all will show up, but it will be much fun catching up with whoever is there.

I probably won't join them for the movie afterwards so I can save $$$ and also try to work on a project that's due by Monday at noon. :-)

It's already been a good day, and I look forward to the rest of it, too. :c)

Well, I did it. I really did it. Tonight I walked into the mall food court dressed in a cow costume. I made it myself, out of paper and garbage bags. As I walked into the food court entrance, I muttered, "It takes a really secure person to do this." :o) A very fun part of my adventure was all the children who enjoyed my costume.

In case you're wondering (hee hee) I wasn't dressed in a cow costume this evening for no reason. Today was Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fila, meaning I got a free combo for wearing my creative garb. I even wore a homemade sign around my neck with the Chick-fila slogan, "Eat Mor ChikIn." [They seriously should pay me for all the great publicity I've given them. :oP]

My friends Cotrina and Sara came out to cheer me on - and take pictures. It's hilarious, because I was so going to do this last year, and our Sunday school group was even coming out to cheer me on, but I got really sick and couldn't follow through. So Cotrina took pictures and informed me she is going to send them to some of the guys in our group who were giving me a hard time about "chickening out" last year, so they know I actually followed through with it. :-) [Since God has led me to a different church now, I don't get to see them that often anymore!]

On my way home, I checked my voicemail and had a message from my friend Michele, so I joined her for ice cream at Braum's. Well, she had ice cream. I had ice water. :-) I was totally stuffed from my super-size nugget combo and a piece of brownie, but I was definitely up for going along for the ride and fellowship! We had a great time, and now I'm here at her apartment using her computer. [Yeah ... friends are pretty much awesome.]

Today our staff at the ministry took the morning to hold a praise and prayer time. And, wow, the Lord did so much in my heart and life through that time. Hard to describe in words, but all I can say is I went to my apartment for a little bit right afterwards and had an incredible time of prayer and renewal in my walk with Him. I felt incredibly impressed with (and convicted by!) my utter nothingness and His magnificence. I am sensing there are areas He wants to change in me - things He desires to see me grow in, and that He has given me the deep desire to grow in. And I want to be faithful and let Him do His work in and through me.

Okay, now I'm kind of tired so I'm going to sign off and maybe watch some of a whale show with my friend before heading off to my apartment to relax and rest from a busy (but good!) week.

This morning I was working a little on my newsletter. I want to write about Simon John, our North India leader on the field. I was listening to the story of God's call on his life, on audio file. I highly encourage you all to check it out-it's incredibly powerful, challenging and encouraging all at the same time.

We got to spend much time with Simon John on a staff vision tour I took in 2004. I was really impacted by his life ... his kindness, his humility, his incredibly deep love for Jesus and his brothers and sisters in Christ, his sacrifice. Thinking about his life truly encourages and challenges me in my walk with Christ. I love Jesus so much, and how wonderful it is to know that He always has my best in mind and I can always trust Him. How precious are those moments spent in His presence.

Things continue to go well for me. I just got back from lunch with some friends from work, and we had such a nice time together. Today I mostly completed a project, in just an hour's time, which I was really excited about. :-) Praise the Lord.

Back in my hometown, my parents are attending the annual Coast Bible Conference this week. Wish I could be there! Our family has attended that conference for 20+ years, and I have fond memories of the years spent there, when I still lived at home. But I am so happy to be here, for the wonderful things God has blessed me with here, and for God's call and how He is working in and through my life here. To think, in November I will have been here 4 years. Wow. It's hard to believe.

And it's all because of Him.

Last night hanging out with my friends was really nice. One of us had to leave early, but my other friend and I were able to hang out longer. And talk. And talk. And talk some more. And pray for one another. It was a great. Somewhere around 10:00 I looked at my friend, grinned and said, "We never got to watch our movie." She laughed and was like, "No, but I think I needed this more." I agreed.

The wedding in Fort Worth was simple but nice. And I only got, uh, mildly lost. :-) I also ended up going through the airport by accident, thus having to pay a $2 pass-thru free. Oh well - not the end of the world. Worse things could have happened, I'm sure. :-)

I am feeling so encouraged and hopeful in my life. Things are going well. Okay, I am fixing to head out now so I can walk a bit at the nature preserve before it starts getting dark!

Last weekend at this time I was at the conference, and with my family! I loved that so much. But I'm also excited I get to be back at my church tomorrow, for the first time in two weeks. I love this church and truly thank the Lord for bringing me there.

Okay, I'm really heading out now. Things in my life are going so well, yet at the same time there are things I'm needing to keep trusting God for.

And that's a good thing.

The shower last night went well. Toward the end, they passed around little cards with Bible verses we could keep and share with the bride to be. I thought that was such a cool idea.

Mine was Galatians 6:2, "Bear each other's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." I thought, what an appropriate verse for a couple about to be married.

On the way home, navigating my way out of the scenic neighborhood out in the country, I thought of Steve and Pam. Steve is an incredible Christian brother back in Alabama. About a year ago, he found out he had colon cancer. His wife has faithfully and lovingly stood by his side, whether it be staying with him 24-7 at the hospital, finding out some important information about a drug he was prescribed, or going with him full-time to work to help him since he wasn't at full strength.

Just recently this couple has been told the news everyone in this situation dreads: the cancer has spread, and there is no more doctors can do to. He is now on hospice care. This couple is young ... possibly only in their late 40s. Their perspective in the midst of this time has blown me away:

... we love you and thank you for praying for us and trusting God with us. His display of love for us is exceeding abundantly above all we could ever ask or think. Steve looks more and more like the man described in Jeremiah 17:7-8 as he trusts God completely.

Please take a moment and pray for this dear couple as the Lord leads. What an example they are to me in their faith during this incredibly difficult time.

I am heading out now to meet up with a couple of friends for the evening.

It's been a good day.

Around 11:00 I got a jabber (our "instant message" system here at the office) from my good friend Kara, asking if I could meet her in our Believers Cafe downstairs for a few minutes. Of course I did, and we had a great chat, encouraging one another and rejoicing over awesome answers to prayer in her family's lives. Then we went out with a few others to the Italian Villa for a spontaneous farewell lunch.

Tomorrow is Kara's last official day here at the office, as she and her husband have sensed God's leading for a special ministry in their home. When I arrived here on staff almost four years ago, she was the first person I met on the day I drove in. I will always remember that. We really connected. And she loves the people here and definitely plans to stay in touch with us!

You are loved, Kara. :-)

Okay, I should get going because tonight I'm attending a bridal shower in Flower Mound for a good friend. Saturday is her wedding in Fort Worth. I have never driven out there, so I think it could be a fun little adventure for me! I have already printed out directions and plan to study them fastidiously, as I have proven my capability to get lost just about anywhere. :-)

Life is good.

Back at the office today. Good to be back. It's going to be a short work week, I do believe. Today was my first day back in the office, as we had both yesterday (for the 4th!) and Monday off.

On Monday my good friend Michele and I met up and went to the mall and to see a movie. We had a nice time of fellowship together. I also had the opportunity to spontaneously help several people out with different things [praise God!] and becuase we didn't get as early of a start on our day as at first planned, Michele found out her car battery was covered under warranty and we were able to drop it off at the dealership to get it fixed! God was definitely orchestrating the day's events. I love it when that happens! Okay, so He is always at work, but that day it was just really obvious I guess. :-)

Yesterday was pretty cool, too. I know it was the 4th of July and all, but I honestly felt quite content to just rest and get stuff done around the apartment. So that's what I did. It was a quiet day, but a nice one. I did chat with my mom for a while. I also spontaneously decided to drop by a 4th celebration last night for just a couple hours, at a church I used to attend. I think that was orchestrated by the Lord, too ... I got to chat with a really nice lady who was kind of there by herself since the guy who had brought her was serving. I also got to share some GFA materials with her and she was so excited and said she wants to come out to our prayer meetings, too.

And ... I even saw some great fireworks outside the Wal-mart parking lot on the way home. :-) It was a nice day.

I'm back.

It was a whirlwind weekend, and incredibly busy, and I don't think words could describe it. But at least I'll try.

Friday late morning I arrived at the Gaylord Texan. This was my third visit to the hotel because my parents and sister had been at conventions there, but my first time to actually stay there. Just a side note, it's a beautiful place. I can't fully describe the feeling I got as I first walked into the atrium area the other day, but it just feels like such an enchanting place somehow.

Anyhow, the weekend was awesome because I got to spend time with my family, sit it on some great sessions, and meet and chat with all kinds of people as I worked at the bookstore. It was so much fun!

It was truly wonderful to see so many different people, from different backgrounds and denominations within the body of Christ, all united by one thing: our love for Jesus and desire to know Him more deeply and make Him known. Last night we had all-night prayer, like we do at the office every month. This one "only" went until about 2 a.m. though. :-) Amazingly, in spite of it being a very busy day, I wasn't even tired really. I felt energized the whole night. And ... it's hard to describe in words probably, but I felt invigorated as I mingled with people and prayed ... I felt in those moments that I was enjoying life to its fullest.

I didn't want the weekend to end. But it had to! Yet I find myself feeling encouraged and renewed, and reminded that when it really comes down to it, Jesus is all that matters. His fragrance, His aroma in my life are what truly count. Knowing Him more intimately. Breathing in the fragrance of His love. There is nothing like being in His presence.

I think this weekend was a little foretaste of what heaven will be like.