I got to bed early last night. Okay, so, early for me, not early for some people. :o) 10:15. Today I felt so much more rested than I did yesterday. I'm learning (albeit slowly) that my night owl habits of college won't work here. I would be up so late some nights working, studying with buddies, hanging out with groups of friends, etc. And I enjoyed it. For one semester, I even had two days a week where I didn't have class until about 6 P.M. So ... you guessed it ... I could sleep in as long as I wanted. :o) But that's not the case here. Yet this is a small sacrifice I can make for the Kingdom. What a privilege to be linked with a harvest of precious souls in Asia.

Tonight at staff prayer, I was reminded of the sense of urgency--the potential for literally millions to be reached with the Gospel, yet the short amount of time we have. Each day 80,000 people in Asia slip into eternity without having heard the Gospel even one time. Dear friend, would you please pray that the Lord would help me live very purposefully and be diligent in doing as much as I can to further His kingdom in Asia, with the life that He has given me? I so much desire an eternal perspective, to see things as HE sees them. This life is indeed so short ... only what's done for our Savior will last.

Lindi, Whit, Angela and I went to a Chinese restaurant after church today. It was a unique shopping center, with several ethnic food places and shops. Lindi took us to a cafe owned by a Taiwanese family, and she bought an avocado shake for us to try. To be honest, I didn't think I'd like it (but was willing to try it for a fun adventure), but it was great! :o) They put several straws in the cup, and we were all sharing it as we walked back to the car. That was my favorite part of our time together ... reminded me of some memorable times from junior high and high school, hanging out with Ann Marie, Becka and Angela. :o) We were too funny ... I have to laugh when I read some of my journal entries from those days!

I am a bit tired tonight, but all things considered, doing quite well. This is such an exciting time for me. It seems that the Lord is working on, and enabling me to be victorious in, several different areas of my life. I'm so thankful for that. It is truly He who deserves all the glory. There is nothing good in me. Even the desire to know Him more is a desire He had to put in me. Here's an excerpt from a journal entry I wrote Friday.

Lord, I am so thankful to You for bringing me here (to GFA). I was just thinking of how you have taught me so much (for example, about being faithful in the little things, claiming contentment in every situation, serving behind the scenes, living more purposefully, etc.) since I've been here. Wow. Thank You, Lord. Who am I, that I should deserve this? Truly, I am amazed and thankful.

Our Savior is so loving and kind! I feel like I am overflowing with joy and thankfulness. This morning I was thinking about how the Lord is using things in my life to refine me. And I rejoiced in that. Somehow, all else fades away and becomes a shadow when compared with the light of His presence. Abiding in Him, what have I to worry about? Nothing. There is such joy in being with Him. I love Him so much.

That's not all. I was looking through field reports and thinking what an awesome privilege it is ... to not only intercede for these needs, but also that I get to be His voice to drive others to prayer. Wow. He is so good to me. Who am I that I should deserve this? Just then, my team leader walked by and mentioned that someone sponsored 12 missionaries after this week's email update was forwarded to them. I can't begin to tell you how that encouraged me and ministered to my heart. Indeed, it is worth it all. Why do we ever complain? Our God is SO good to us. :o)

Lately I find the Lord continually allowing me to face situations that drive me to my knees. Situations that aren't easy, but that I can rejoice in, for, just like the oyster out of which a beautiful, exquisite pearl emerges after sandy irritations, He is bringing out of these things a greater good. He is molding me, His undeserving child, to be more like Christ. Hallelujah! By faith I rejoice in these things and claim, like the Apostle Paul, that "none of these things move me." Praise God!

My roommates and I just got done praying together--something we do pretty much every night, that has been such a blessing. I am tired right now ... but still hoping to pray a little before going to bed.

Our message at prayer meeting tonight was one of those that you don't ever want to forget, that you want to live out each moment--for the rest of your life. Reminding us of our call to die to ourselves for the sake of reaching a lost world, our brother asked some hard questions.

Am I willing to die to my right to an apology if falsely accused (or wronged in any other way)? To my right to "fairness"? (How eternally grateful I am that God has acted mercifully toward me instead of doing what is fair--what I rightfully deserve as a sinner.)

Am I willing to die to my right to be understood? To any glory or attention? To any dismay over others getting the glory instead? To trying to control my life?

Have we risen above our own pettiness? Are we actively crying out to God for nearly 3 billion people who have never heard the Good News? What are the daisy chains in my life--those things that are keeping me from giving everything I've got to reach the lost world? What are the things I'm holding on to? The things I don't want to give up? May I die to them!

Toward the end we were challenged to ask Jesus to show us specific ways in which we can die to ourselves--what things He would have us lay at His feet. I know this isn't easy. Please pray the Father would reveal His heart to me--and then grant me the discipline to implement what He shows me. I know even this desire comes from Him, for in my flesh dwells no good thing.

This was such a nice night. Several of us went and ate with a family on staff--and played chinese checkers and watched The Princess Bride together. I so much enjoyed it! And tomorrow is church. I'm so much looking forward to that. :o)

I had such a nice time with Ruthie and Suzi tonight. We headed over to Ruthie's church to hear a special speaker, then we three hung out at Sonic and chatted for a bit. What a perfect end to a rather long week ... a refreshing breeze!

I want to reread Elisabeth Elliot's A Path Through Suffering. Just her life in itself speaks volumes to me--that she would go back and minister to the very people who were responsible for her young husband's death. But I read this particular book while I was in college, and was so encouraged by it. This week I have been poignantly reminded of how, for whatever reason, the Lord has been allowing some hard situations in my life. Our staff ladies' meeting last night was about this, and how He uses these things to prune us and prepare us for things He would have us do in the future.

Though this past week hasn't been the easiest, somehow I've been feeling so much better today. We had a really good devotion this morning during staff prayer. The young man leading it told the story of a man who would go places and speak.

Every place he'd go, two men would show up with signs, protesting and saying he wasn't speaking the truth. I'm sure the man must have become pretty exasperated. But one day he had a vision of a beautiful piece of metal. He said, "Lord, how did you make that?"

Then the Lord showed him how putting it through the fire would make an even more exquisite piece of metal. That man then saw the two troublemakers as God's chosen instruments of refining and shaping in his life. The next time he saw the men he was practically running up to them and hugging them and saying, "Can I help you carry your signs?" He was so thankful for this means of becoming more like Jesus. O, that we would all learn to see life in this way!

Last Saturday as we walked away from a ride at Six Flags, I got a vivid glimpse of the field in Asia. Even as I thought of how fun our ride had been, the image came to me of the little children I saw begging on the crowded streets of India, and the contrast it was. I don't think I'll ever forget their sweet, high-pitched/shrill voices saying, "Rupees please, sir."

Even though they are on the other side of the world, they felt so real to me at that moment. Driving home from dropping off a friend who lives in my complex, I prayed these precious people will have a chance to hear the Gospel.

In church Sunday morning, they showed slides from our recent VBS. As children's faces flashed across the screen, I couldn't help thinking again of the dirty, bedraggled children in India ... children who are so cherished in the sight of God ... and no less beautiful to Him than my adorable nephews. O that these children would get to hear about Jesus!

When I was in India at one of the Dalit schools, the children sang songs and brought colorful flowers to each of us. As I looked around and saw the faces of these children--little ones now hearing about the hope found in Christ Jesus--I started crying. I felt a stirring within me ... and wondered what it meant. It may mean nothing more than that the Lord would have me on my knees more and more as a prayer warrior on their behalf. I would be content with that. Whatever the case, I want to be pliable in His hands, letting Him prepare me for each thing He would have me do for the furtherance of His kingdom.

Today three friends and I went to Six Flags. We had SO much fun! When we first got there, we got to ride Batman and MR. Freeze twice in a row. That's unusual. Generally those lines are really long! It sure is nice having a season pass. They were such a good deal, too!

I'm so glad we all got to hang out today and ride so many fun rides together. We had some good laughs but also meaningful conversations as well. There were situations where I felt I could have had quite a bit more grace toward others (and been more willing to die to self in the "little" things). I kind of apologized for that.

At the same time, though, everyone had such a nice time and expressed how appreciative they were that I'd gotten this outing together. They very much sounded like they'd like to do this again. Praise God! It's good to know His mercies are new every morning--that He is continually working in this clay vessel, to conform me ever more into the image of His dear Son. I have so far to go, but He isn't about to give up on me!

Last night I asked my roommate to pray everyone would have a nice time, that we would have meaningful conversation (and be a light for Christ to those around us!), and that we may get to talk with others standing in line, if that be the Lord's will. The Lord answered ALL those requests--I even got to talk a little to a lady in line with her husband for Mr. Freeze. We ran into each other again while we were in line for the Titan. She teased that she was following us. It was fun to see her--It kind of felt like I'd made a friend. :o) I did get to share with her that we work for a ministry that spreads the Gospel in Asia. Who knows what seeds may have been planted! Perhaps she will start thinking and will want to know Jesus, if she doesn't yet.

Tonight we had a roommate dinner. We enjoyed eating and fellowshipping together. I made beef taco skillet for this special time. :o) My roommates seemed to really enjoy it, and that made me so happy.

On my way to go get the ingredients at Wal-mart during my lunch hour, I went by the office of a co-worker and friend, Kara. She heard I was going to Wal-mart and asked if I could get something for her-- shirts for her mom.

"You don't know what a blessing this is," Kara told me. "I never seem to get to Wal-mart lately." (She has much on her plate, yet so often has such an upbeat outlook) I told her it was no problem.

It was fun picking out cute shirts for her mom. (She told me her mom likes pastels and flowery patterns ... just like me. :o)) I love when the Lord paves the way and uses me to encourage someone. That just makes my day! :o)

Tomorrow I'm eating lunch with another co-worker and friend, Cindy. And I can't wait! :o)

My friend Terri and I had such a nice time together eating at Chili's tonight, to celebrate her graduation. I was telling her how last November my roommates and I ate at Chili's to celebrate my first year of being here. It is truly a comforting and thrilling thing to be right where God would have me be, as far as the big picture.

I also want to be faithful in the little things. The everyday decisions in life. For this past week I've been eating healthy and not drinking any soft drinks. I know it's the grace of God. I am so thankful for how He is working in my life, and He deserves all the glory.

I am actually writing this at 12:46 A.M. Saturday morning, but I find it easier for postings' sake to post this as a Friday entry, right before midnight. It still feels like Friday to me. :o) I've do this for the other "late night" entries as well ... that way I don't usually have two posts in one day.

We had extended prayer tonight. I am sooooo tired. My left shoulderblade was hurting--it does that from time to time--but one of my friends gave me a shoulder rub, and it's feeling so much better already. I am reminded that we are in a very real battle as we seek to reach the Indian subcontinent with the Gospel. Tonight we heard much about how God is working and how doors have been opened to even reach so many more with the Good News. Praise God. It is worth it all.

Tomorrow I don't have much of anything planned. My prayer is that I would walk in the Spirit, and not in the flesh--that I would know what the Lord wants me to do and do it. I have been pretty busy and kind of tired, so I hope to get to relax for a while. :o)

The other night at prayer meeting, Brother K.P.'s sharing really gripped me. I so much want to live a simple life (as far as this world) and be purposeful in how I spend my time. He asked some powerful questions.

Who is willing to abandon their comfort, their sleep, their rights--for the sake of Jesus?

Am I willing to walk away from a lukewarm Christian life and deliberately choose the way of suffering for His sake?

Am I willing to pay the price? Giving everything we've got for the sake of His kingdom is worth it.

I am reminded of our dear leader in North India, and the words he spoke to our 16-member group as we sat in his home, also the GFA area office. He read from
Hebrews 12:1,2 and told us that whatever we give up for the sake of Jesus and reaching the lost, it is worth it all. He thanked us. Of course it boggled my mind, because we think of them as giving up so much.