Rough times.

I really need to feel Jesus' arms around me. To know that He is here with me, holding Me. Of course I realize that on a purely objective level. How much harder it can be to feel that on a heart level -- especially in the valleys. Truly He loves His children SO much, though.

I have had little moments of feeling to some measure that He is carrying me. Last night He gave me a neat devotional from Streams in the Desert. Someone wrote of a dream involving three women. They all were praying. The first woman received tender words of love from her Savior as He walked by. The second woman received a pat of approval. The third? Nothing -- He simply passed her by.

As the story goes as told in the devotional, the Lord came to the person having the dream and explained that, contrary to what they were thinking, the third woman--the one He seemed to ignore--had not grieved Him. Rather, she had the deepest faith to where she could handle the silence -- "I am training her through quick and drastic ways for the highest and holiest of service. She knows Me so intimately, and trusts Me so completely, that she no longer depends on outward signs to know of My approval. She is not dismayed or discouraged by any circumstances I arrange for her to encounter. She trusts Me when common sense, reason, and even every subtle instinct of the natural heart would rebel, knowing that I am preparing her for eternity, and realizing that the understanding of what I do will come later."

That was reassuring to me as I thought of how these hard times and struggles are not necessarily a bad sign -- but rather evidence that I have grown in my Christian walk. At the same time, too, though, I found myself saying, "Lord! I am not worthy. I do not have the strength. Give me the feeling that Your arms are around me, carrying me."

(There are many more good devotions in Streams in the Desert about trials. I'll try to write some more in here soon.)